Respect your Life!!! Seriously!!

I am really stressed out. You know why? Because some jerk with no brains posted a disgusting fake image of a gruesome blister on arm of some person. I am not able to get that image out of my mind because bad blisters ruined one year of my childhood. I dont know what prompts people to do this kind of prank. The thought process behind such a cruel though very small act scares me. When you are feeling elated on disturbing somebody's day, somebody's mind,somebody's peace then how you can be trusted with a whole lifetime. Life time of 50 years is enough for creating more of such a nonsense stuff just to get cheap publicity on internet. Maybe this is a very small thing to be paranoid on but this is ruining my day, my peace. It's a huge thing for me. 

I was raeding one blog which had stories of suicide attempts. Out of 10 stories, 5 suicides were the result of high school bullying. Bullies in high schools are feared by everyone and the end result of non-stop bullying is suicide by the kids. Why do some people possess this kind of mentality towards the weak and vulnerable, this is really frustrating for me. To understand this mentality, I need to study psychology. Studies shows that bullies are people who suffer from bad childhood or themselves got bullied sometime.

I am scared to the core for facing the next day after reading this. I am not scared of the people, i am terrified of the circumstances that forces people to behave this way. I am terrified of the mentality of the 12-13 year kids to brutally beat a kid of the same class just for proving the supremacy. I am terrified of the negligence of the parents who dont know what their kids are posting on the internet, what kind of cruel images and jokes makes their kids happy.  

World is not a good place to live in. 

Going into depression,

Mrunal

Forgiven and forgotten. ..

I am embracing this toughest task and asking you to join me...Haa,it  seems as if I am driving a social cause for improvement of this society, but I am not. I am asking people who got hurt by my actions. I am asking you to forgive me and if you cannot do that,  at least forget me. I cannot be brazen to  face you all without apologizing.  Since some of us are not even on the talking terms,  so accept my apology here.
A very popular animated movie has a dialog "oh yes, past can hurt. But either you can run from it or learn from it." But it is not easy to learn frm the past because the thing which is to learn do stabs you at the same point like it did in the past.
Each person has some share of daily pains inflicted by the past. Maybe a person, memories or something reminds us of it everyday. But you can never be happy fully if one portion of your heart remains stuck in the past and bleeds. Maybe be the apology can help you get over the past..I am trying the same, I will be never forgiven in the worst case but I ll be at peace with myself.
Forgetting is easy when no piece when you have no grudge attached with the person. Grudges are ugly, they haunt the peace and howl in the mind..Let them go, let the person of ur grudge realize his fault..and even if he doesn't,  you have got nothing to lose..
People, please forgive me whenever I was at fault. .

Counting on you,
Mrunal

You wanna be rich..

In the coming few months, one thing that is definitely going to happen is the 360° turn that life's gonna make. Have we all not known about the fact that everything happens for a reason, if I am failing then it's also happening for a reason.  That's a very convenient and easy explanation that we can give to ourselves;for what's coming next is not known to us. I would love to dream very high but that doesn't make my capacity go high.
As you go on aging , you get the crunch out of your life. I am more than happy for my happy and uncompetitive childhood unlike today's generation because those years contributed a lot to my development and added treasures to my memories. Neither i care if I achieved good grades in my school, nor I care about my fellow classmates current status' in the society.
Likewise, I don't care what my position will be in the coming years or where I go for spending my holidays. What I care are the people whom I gonna remember in the coming years and with whom I would love to share my holidays wherever it may be.
Let your behavior decide your future because that's the way it is supposed to be decided. And believe me, if you can proudly call yourself a good person at heart, you are richer than 80% of the people and happier than 95% of the people.

"Maana apni jeb se faqeer hai, fir bhi yaaro dil ke hum ameer hai"

Jeena isi ka naam hai,
Mrunal

No idea what's going on!!

Hi there,

I really want to get out of here, I really do. I cannot think of anything nowadays, I just wanna end this. But end what? my job,  my work, my life, my existence, what??? No idea.. Maybe this is a phase of the working career when you suddenly realise that life is not about working, life is not about getting paid, life is not about shopping, it is about making your minutes count. I want to make my minutes count but i cannot go on like this. I work diligently, I enjoy a social life and then I get a peaceful sleep. But in the night i cannot count on ething that i did in the whole day which i can be proud of. What am I doing? I blank and numb all over, i get fuzzy over little things, i get influenced easily, and i screw all the chances of getting decent life partner.My friend says that i am looking for the answers outside instead of looking for them inside. But how do i do that, looking inside myself? How?

Somebody better answer me, because i m clueless. These days i usually clueless about everything. What's happening? I am insecure, dont know what for. This is not what i had expected out of my life. Is anybody listening to this SOS message? This is really a life threatening situation.

God!!!

Desperately in need of miracle,

Mrunal

Cannot please whole world..

No matter how much I try, I cannot do the things which are acceptable to ALL. Sometimes somebody is going to get hurt and my potrayal will be of an ignorant person.  I have tried to balance out the things amongst all but it hurts me in the end. Sometimes you got to think keeping in perspective of the future. Sometimes you got to prioritize the needs. Sometimes you got to keep your interest at first place.
  I am not saying that I am the best judge but I cannot walk on somebody's road when I cannot see the destination ahead. If I come across a dead end,  it will be a wholly my fault. When i am the person bearing the end result whatever it may be, then I should be the person deciding the way to achieve it. Yes, advices are very important and welcomed but those need to be convincing.
If I have hurt any person knowingly or unknowingly, please understand the complexity of the situations which you are unknown to. The feelings which ought to be mutual and if they are not, then the meetings and conversations become burdens. 
I feel very glad when the other person draws the line of limt and expects me not to cross it. This means that we both are frank enough to respect each other's choices and individuality. But when I do it, very few people can withstand this logic. That's the reason for frequent clashes amongst people, couples, friends and partners.
Above all thoughts and logics are my own, please excuse me if those are not acceptable by ALL.

Feeling exhausted,
Mrunal

Am I scared??? hell, I am..

What scares me?? Answer will take numerous posts but I ll stick to one because I don't want to depress myself.
The voilence around us, the scarcity and depletion of natural resources, the growing diseases, pollution, etc etc...what scares me most is the thought process of us which nowadays is impulsive,impatient and always urging us to prove something. I see a 3 year old kid playing with high-tech gadgets; unaware of the harmful rays and diseases which comes with gadgets uninvited. It isn't the kid's fault, it's of his parents which are either buy in some critically important work or are trying to prove their capability to buy such expensive gadgets-turned-toys. Here comes the desperate need of proving.
Now I see a young boy of merely 10 years of age, asking his dad about cigarettes and alcohol and his dad slaps him hard. Kids are bound to ask questions but we nowadays are so impatient that without giving a thought about reason of kid's question we jumped onto the fact that he is under bad influence. Maybe the reason is the work pressure or inflation or politics whatsoever but is it worth of blaming your kid..
Then I see an old couple waiting years for meeting their grandchildren. What a depressing it must be to wait to meet a child whom they have raised and then wait to meet his children. .Is it not a right if them, which is not jotted down in constitution but morally?????
Some of these questions will always be unanswered but I don't care. I have written these down to remind myself to dodge these problems in any possible way.

In a problematic world,
Mrunal

What makes me cry. .

Hey..
If I want to judge a person or make an opinion about a person, I look for their behavior in vulnerable state. And according to me, a  person is vulnerable when he is hurt or sad and close to tears. I personally hate to cry just because I don't want to portray myself as vulnerable creature.
But I am a girl, nobody can snatch away my universally accepted right of crying. The feeling of being hurt does not make me cry, it's the apology of the person after hurting me that makes me cry. It's not the bad day at office that makes me cry, but concern of my colleague about me does. It's not the headache caused by shrill noise of traffic makes me cry, but smile of small baby in that traffic does. I guess the way my mind works is weird.  Maybe I am so acquainted with the wrong and sad things in this world that a small deed of goodness melts my heart  and makes me cry. So the people whom I ve blamed for making me cry, are actually the best people in my life..

Feeling blessed,
Mrunal

Not my thing...

There are many examples where I find myself unsuitable for this generation. I hate speed, I love writing letters,  I prefer punctuality,  I rarely let my anger go out of control and I hate loud celebrations. May be many of you will nod in agreement but sometimes I go on blabbering about my ideals  in such brazen way, it's scary. I was told yesterday that I have very strong opinions n I stick to them, my elder brother went into shock mode hearing this..I rarely get vocal about my opinions when the other side consists of my elders; whereas my discussions gets very lively with the same age people. Right from childhood,  I was asked to be friends with the people with high intellect but I was never specifically told to be friends with good people. Maybe my folks knew that I ll find good people. This thing always confuses me when ther comes a fork for choosing path to intelligent person n good person. Combination of both in one in quite rare. And I try to be one of those rare minds, even though I know that I am not intelligent but I can be good..:-)
Tell me what you try to be..

Will be back again soon.
Mrunal